When It Rains.....

It feels like forever since I have taken time to post a blog. This is for many reasons, but the main reason is the struggles we have been having since KK was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.
It will be four months on September 25th and our family has definitely been through some adjustments in that time. I have been through what feels like a mid-life crisis. I am the type of person who likes to “fix” things. I want to help people when they have a problem. I don’t like to sit by idly and let things happen to me. I’ve tried to do this with KKs diagnosis. I know that I can’t “fix” her, but I thought that I could “fix” the way our family lives. I started by reading TONS of books on health and nutrition. I started taking all the processed foods out of our home. No hydrogenated oils, no high-fructose corn syrup, no processed grains. I started making most of our snacks and treats, I made sure to balance the protein and carbs in our meals and snacks. I got rid of breakfast cereals and have been making our breakfasts every morning instead. I became OBSESSED. And I am not saying that the changes in our lifestyle weren’t good for our family, but I think I tried to do too much all at once.
As I was going through this crazy stressful diet transformation, Paige started to have some major anxiety attacks, etc. She was having an EXTREMELY rough time dealing with KKs diagnosis and was manifesting it through some really tough behaviors. We prayed about it and decided to put her on some supplements for anxiety and they have recently started working and she has shown dramatic improvements in her behaviors.
Tobey is not only in the bishopric, he is working full time, and getting his Master’s Degree. The project he is working on ends at the end of the year, and we have no idea where his next project will be. His employers have informed him that he will most likely be traveling and working on various projects while they try to find something around here for him to work on. However, he could also be asked to work on a longer term project which means we will have to try and sell our house in this horrendous housing market. (That’s not stressful at all is it?!?)
A couple of months after KKs diagnosis, with all of these things compounding and pressing in on us I realized that something was not okay with me. I thought maybe I just hadn’t completely grieved the diabetes, and I was just going through a rough time. I began to get dizzy all the time, I was on the verge of tears all the time, I was anxious and worried about all of us and our health. My skin was clammy and sweaty, my heart rate was WAY too high. So last week after about two months of this, I decided to go to the doctor.
At first he thought that because of all the stress going on in my life that the Serotonin levels in my brain were too low and it was causing me to be depressed so he put me on some antidepressants. He said that all the other symptoms were due to stress and once my levels started getting back to normal that I would be okay and the dizziness, heart rate, etc. would pass.
However, after about a week and a half I was still getting very dizzy, my heart rate went through the roof when I was working out one day, and it scared me because I have exercised my whole life and my heart rate was never above 180 (even doing crazy Insanity) So I went back in and had the doctor do blood work.
The next day they called me and told me something was wrong with my Thyroid levels. They asked permission to do a full Thyroid panel, which I gave them. And then they called me back later that day to inform me that my levels indicate I have hyperthyroidism. I am going in this Wednesday to swallow dye and have a thyroid scan to see what may be causing this issue.
The second they gave me this news, my heart sank. My mom was diagnosed with Graves disease (a autoimmune hyperthyroid disease) a couple of years ago and it has caused some major health problems with her. It is highly hereditary and so it could very well be what I am up against. Conventional medicine recommends that when you have an over-active thyroid, as in Graves disease, that you kill your thyroid with radioactive iodine or have it surgically removed and then just take thyroid hormones for the rest of your life. However, most of the people who do this end up with extreme health complications for the rest of their lives, obesity, hair loss, eye disease, etc.
Your thyroid controls so many functions and hormones in your body that when it’s off, either hypo (under-active) or hyper (overactive) it can wreak havoc on your life. Right now I am just waiting for Wednesday to see what the doctors have to say about what is going on, what may be causing it, etc. There are many theories about what causes it, how to treat it, etc. and I am currently looking into many of them. I am trying not to read to much into it until I get this scan and also meet with a holistic doctor who deals in natural healing as well so I have perspectives on both sides of the medical pendulum.
As I am letting this all sink in and thinking about the repercussions of this medical condition, and just thinking about the past four months and the changes and trials our family is going through the thought that keeps coming into my mind is, “Be still and know that I am God.” There is a reason these things are happening to us right now, it seems like all at once, in rapid succession.
Whenever I start to get discouraged, I try to remember how amazingly blessed I am. I try to remember to stop what I am doing, get down on my knees, and pray first to thank God for what he has given me, but also to help him for strength and perspective. I ask him to help me know what I need to learn right now, because there is a BIG lesson in all of this. And it soothes my spirit. It’s what keeps me going. I know God is in control. I just need to allow my will to be swallowed up in His. As long as I take time to remember that, I am okay.
Please keep me in your prayers. :)